Abuse stop it now

It all started 1988, I was working in the mall with an animals welfare group. well I met a guy who I thought was cute. He had come over to the booth were we had set up. He talked to me for a few minute and said he had to go. He asked me if I would be still at the booth later on that night. I said ya I'm her until the mall closes. He then smiled and said I will see you later. I said Okay.

I went for a break. My mom had take over for me. A few minute later I returned. My mom handed me a brown paper bag and, said some guy had left it with her. He had asked my mom to give it to me.

I opened it up and inside was a rose bowl with a little card that had his phone number and, a little message that said how about coffee some time. Give me a call.

Well I called him. That was the biggest mistake I ever made. We started dating. My life went to hell not at first he was very nice. the first little while he would bring me gifts every time I saw him. He would meet me for lunch at my school. I was going to Mount Royal Collage taking Job training. I started staying at his house on weekends.

That's when the abuse started. First it was just a slap and, he would say how sorry he was. He always had a reason why he hit me. He would say I had a bad day at work and to many drinks, but I promises I will not hit you again. being a fool I would say that okay I under stand.

The abuse got worse I would sit at home by the phone waiting for his call because, I know if I was not their he would come looking for me.

I started to dress in rags because I was not aloud to wear my suits anymore. Other men might look at me. If I let another man look at me or did not do what he would tell me to he would punch me, and if that didn't work he would slash himself and, tell me it was all my fault. If that didn't work he would throw thing at me or hit me with what ever he could get his hands on.

He always made sure no one could see the marks on me. Until one day he started hitting me in the face and left marks. My mom and dad saw the marks and asked me what had happened. I told them. They told me to get rid of him. I still live at home.

What my parents didn't know was he had threaten to burn their house down with all of us in it. So I did as I was told by him. A few time before he had left the marks on my face he would walk for an hour to get to my parents place to make sure I was at home.

I move out of my parent house into an apartment. Then I ended up in the hospital. He had taken me to the hospital. At the hospital they asked me if they could call someone. I said yes my parents. That is when I got help.

I stayed in the hospital for some time. The hospital gave me a false name to make sure I was safe. They mange to get me a consular. I went to court and got a restraining order. He did not dare to break it because his dad worked for the police. And if he broke the order his dad could loss his job. If he broke the order and his dad lost his job because of him he would get the crap kicked out of him.

I disappeared for 8 month into a women's shelter. The only ones who knew were I was, was my parents. No one else was aloud to know were I was because I had some family who felt that he should know were I was. After eight years of being beaten. I was some were safe. I live in the shelter for almost a year.

I started my life over. While I had been in the hospital I had met a man who was real cute. We became friends. I told him everything that my X boyfriend did to me. He helped me by making me feel like I was someone. we would meet for coffee and go for walks while I was in the shelter. At nights we would talk on the phone in my apartment. It was a 11 mouths after we had met we started dating. We were married in 1999. He has never hit me or anything like that If anything he is very protective over me.

For all you women out there who are Abused there is help, and a better life. Do not let the men who abuse you keep doing it get help. Find people who will help you. They are out there. Never say I have a child by him I can't leave. I know women who have left with their children. I was there I know how it feels.

By Juanita Fraser