A Hospital Stay Gone Bad

What is happening to the hospitals now a days? The reason I’m asking is because of what happened to me. I went for surgery Aug 22, 2008 it was on a Friday.

Here is my story. It all started the day I went into the hospital.

The first thing that happened was my husband asked were my room was. He waited and waited for me to come out of surgery. After and hour and half after I had my surgery. He still did not know where I was. When he did find out, the nurse told him I had been back for a couple of hours.

That was just the beginning. I ended up leaving the hospital early because for two nights they had problems with my pain control. The first night no one on the night shift knew how to work the machine with my pain killer. I needed it to be increased, I was not getting what I needed. They could not give me more pain killer. The machine was the type were I would push the button to get my pain killer. It would give me the pain killer every seven minutes, No matter how much you push the button you are only allowed the amount programmed. Here I had been getting my pain killer every seven minutes, Because no one knew how it worked they turned it off. For an hour I felt like I was being ripped apart. By morning the good nurse and I mean a really good nurse came in. She knew how to work the machine. The next night was even worse. My machine ran out of pain killer. The night nurse told me I would have to wait to get anything for the pain until 8:00 am when the pharmacy opened. This was at 1:00 am my pain killer had run out, an hour before. By 5:30 in the morning I had managed to get to a pay Phone and called my husband. I was crying so hard my husband could barely under stand me. The pain was so bad I could barely walk. Just as I got off the phone my doctor had just come on shift. She saw me and asked what was going on. I told her what happened. She was furious. She yelled at the nurse and asked what was going on. She said she had told the night nurse to make sure that if my machine ran out to make sure there was a needle ready.

After my husband had finished talked to me on the phone. he called up the hospital and told them he would be coming to get me. He could take better care of me.

When he arrived he asked to talk to my doctor. He told her he was taking me home so he needed her to sign the release. She did try to stop my husband. She understood why he was so mad. My doctor came to my room and we talked like good friends. She made sure I had my pain killer right away after she had finished with the nurses.

Once my husband got me home he called our family doctor. He told our doctor what was going on. I went into see him right away. He put me on two different pain killers to keep my pain under control. He knew there was no way I was going back to the hospital. When I arrived at his office I told him right off the bat there was no way I would go back.

My husband was the best nurse I ever had, he made sure that I had my pain killers every four hours. He did this even on the days he had to work. When he could not be with me he made sure someone was with me at all times. He did not go back to work until he made sure I was okay so for the first two weeks he did not work. Our daughter also took care of me for a day, and she is only 12 years old. Now I’m almost fully healed.

I would like to thank every one who helped take care of me when the Hospital could not.

thank you! and God bless Dr khan, for her expertise regarding my surgery for being so understanding and caring

Also Dr Entwistle for every thing he did to help me through the pain and for being there.I would like to also thank my family and friends for being there for me.

By J Fraser

A Christmas not to forget

This Christmas brought a few surprises this year. Our daughter's friend from her old school showed up at her grandparents door. Samantha had not seen this boy in three years.

I will tell you how they met. Our daughter was eight years old when they became friends. She was being bullied by a grade fiver. This boy came to her rescue. He was also in grade five. He did not like seeing Samantha being bullied, so he defined Samantha, and got into a fight with the bully. This happened three more times. The bully would not leave Samantha alone. Finely her friend had had enough of the bully. He beat him up pretty bad and ended up suspended. I did not like the idea about beating the bully up.

We went to the principal and asked why she would not put a stop to this bully .Then we asked "why the bully had not been suspended"? Why did she only suspend our daughter's friend. All she could say "is our daughter's friend had gone to far, when it came to protecting her."

We decided to show up at the school while school was in. We were told that we were not aloud to show up at school. We were breaking the schools rules. After we stopped showing up at the school our daughter was beat up by five girls. One of them was her best friend. We pulled Samantha out. We had it with this school. Samantha's friend from grade five had only been protecting her. After he was gone, she became an open target.

Our daughter is always trying to help out animals and kids, that are a lot smaller then her. The problem is she is not a fighter. She try's to protect the animals, and smaller kids, by talking to the bigger kids who are pushing the smaller ones around. That only gets her into trouble.

Well, if you are anything like my daughter, and myself, the last thing you wanted to do is fight. We have told our daughter from now on if you see someone getting pick on, go get a teacher.

Samantha's friend who was in grade five lived in a foster home. A short time after he was kicked out of school. And his foster father had a heart attack and passed away. His foster

mother could no longer take care of him so he was shipped out to a new home. Since then he has been brought to quite a few homes. On Christmas eve he had dinner with our whole family. I asked him if he had enjoyed himself. He looked at me and said "it was just like being around a family." My heart warmed, and I felt great. We started talking about what had been happening since he was last in Oliver. He said "one thing that will stick with me and forever," it broke my heart. "People think just because you are their foster child that when they get tired of you they just ship you out. How can people be like that. He is just a kid. I have heard people say that a lot of these foster children have a lot of problems. Well I wonder why? if they feel like it's just a matter of time before they are shipped some were else, and that they will never be loved.

By the end of the night I felt better, because I knew that we had made at least one good Christmas for him. He felt like he was part of a family. That made me feel good if only there was more we could do.

I know we will see him again. We like him even if he has a bad pass. In our hearts we know that all he needs is to feel like someone think of him as a person with feeling.

By Juanita Fraser

Abuse stop it now

It all started 1988, I was working in the mall with an animals welfare group. well I met a guy who I thought was cute. He had come over to the booth were we had set up. He talked to me for a few minute and said he had to go. He asked me if I would be still at the booth later on that night. I said ya I'm her until the mall closes. He then smiled and said I will see you later. I said Okay.

I went for a break. My mom had take over for me. A few minute later I returned. My mom handed me a brown paper bag and, said some guy had left it with her. He had asked my mom to give it to me.

I opened it up and inside was a rose bowl with a little card that had his phone number and, a little message that said how about coffee some time. Give me a call.

Well I called him. That was the biggest mistake I ever made. We started dating. My life went to hell not at first he was very nice. the first little while he would bring me gifts every time I saw him. He would meet me for lunch at my school. I was going to Mount Royal Collage taking Job training. I started staying at his house on weekends.

That's when the abuse started. First it was just a slap and, he would say how sorry he was. He always had a reason why he hit me. He would say I had a bad day at work and to many drinks, but I promises I will not hit you again. being a fool I would say that okay I under stand.

The abuse got worse I would sit at home by the phone waiting for his call because, I know if I was not their he would come looking for me.

I started to dress in rags because I was not aloud to wear my suits anymore. Other men might look at me. If I let another man look at me or did not do what he would tell me to he would punch me, and if that didn't work he would slash himself and, tell me it was all my fault. If that didn't work he would throw thing at me or hit me with what ever he could get his hands on.

He always made sure no one could see the marks on me. Until one day he started hitting me in the face and left marks. My mom and dad saw the marks and asked me what had happened. I told them. They told me to get rid of him. I still live at home.

What my parents didn't know was he had threaten to burn their house down with all of us in it. So I did as I was told by him. A few time before he had left the marks on my face he would walk for an hour to get to my parents place to make sure I was at home.

I move out of my parent house into an apartment. Then I ended up in the hospital. He had taken me to the hospital. At the hospital they asked me if they could call someone. I said yes my parents. That is when I got help.

I stayed in the hospital for some time. The hospital gave me a false name to make sure I was safe. They mange to get me a consular. I went to court and got a restraining order. He did not dare to break it because his dad worked for the police. And if he broke the order his dad could loss his job. If he broke the order and his dad lost his job because of him he would get the crap kicked out of him.

I disappeared for 8 month into a women's shelter. The only ones who knew were I was, was my parents. No one else was aloud to know were I was because I had some family who felt that he should know were I was. After eight years of being beaten. I was some were safe. I live in the shelter for almost a year.

I started my life over. While I had been in the hospital I had met a man who was real cute. We became friends. I told him everything that my X boyfriend did to me. He helped me by making me feel like I was someone. we would meet for coffee and go for walks while I was in the shelter. At nights we would talk on the phone in my apartment. It was a 11 mouths after we had met we started dating. We were married in 1999. He has never hit me or anything like that If anything he is very protective over me.

For all you women out there who are Abused there is help, and a better life. Do not let the men who abuse you keep doing it get help. Find people who will help you. They are out there. Never say I have a child by him I can't leave. I know women who have left with their children. I was there I know how it feels.

By Juanita Fraser

Something Weird

On January, 6, 2008 My husband and myself were awakened at 4:30am by a cars horn. It sounded like it was stuck.

To start I will tell you we live in the out skirts of Oliver BC Canada, about 20 minutes away. Not a lot happens out here. But this night was different. After the horn had woke us up my husband. He went outside to see what was going on. He saw some head light at the end of our drive way. He said "it looks like there has been and accident". We called 911, and told them about the car horn, and the lights we could see at the end of the drive way. After my husband was finished talking to the police he decided to go out and see if any one was hurt. So he hopped into the van because it is a bit of a walk, and around here we have mountain lions, and some other not to friendly animals. He drove to the end of our driver way. A car had hit the electric pole but there was no one in the vehicle. How the person managed to walk away we will never know the car was totalled. My husband stayed there until the police came.

The first person to come was a volunteer firemen and then the police. The police officer was not very friendly at all. He was short with my husband, and didn't even thank him for calling.

I know when I lived in Calgary. I had a few police friends and they were very nice as long as you stayed on the right side of the law. I saw my one friend in action one time he knew his job, and he did it well. When you looked at this officer he was very intimidating, and he was at least six feet talk, and built like a brick wall. He use to treat me like I was his daughter. If I was hanging with a bad crowd he would pull up and call me over to his car, and tell me it was time for me to go home. My friends might have looked like a bad crowed but they respected the law. So I would introduce him to my friends. They were all afraid of him. I was the only one who wasn't. We stayed in touch until he retired, and I move to BC with my husband. He even met my parents, and they were intimidated by him. Which I could not understand? My parents were good people. If I needed help I would call my friend and ask him what to do. Well I'm going off on a little of the bunny trail.

Now lets get back to the accident. The fireman told my husband that he felt the car was stolen, and the car looked like it had hit more then just the electric post.

In Oliver the news paper only comes out once a week. Well in this weeks new paper, they talked about a girl who had be hit by a car, and whoever was the driver just kept going. It happened on the highway in the morning on January 6, 2008. I wonder if the person who hit the girl was the same one who hit the pole. The police never got back to us, so I guess I will never know. It just seems weird.

By Juanita Fraser

Why B.C Canada?

After living in a non-stop city, Juanita's parents decided to move to the town life. They called us, and tried to convience us to move to the small town. At first I was a apposed to the idea.I liked the city life.Juanita didn't have to pressure me to move. I became stressed out, and burned out. I really needed a break. My bood pressure was through the roof, and mentally, I was heading for a break down. After almost five years later, I'm still here. I love nature around here, surrounded by the mountains.I look forward to the warm Summers, and growing season.In the cities I find, your constantly on the go, and you really don't have time to think what you have.  Robert

Judge not be Judged

Every where you look, people are being judged by others. I think, no one has that right . I feel that this time of year we should take a good look at ourselves.

If you believe in God like I do. It makes you think about how you have been, when it comes to Judging . We all judge at one point or another. When Christ was born he did not Judge, or for that fact as an adult Jesus gave everyone a chance. He tried to teach us not to Judge, but to be kind and loving.

At this time of year people think that they should be good and kind. The rest of the year they go back to their old ways. I know it is hard not to Judge. We should try our best to be kind and loving all year round. Not just Christmas. I know it isn't easy, but at least we should try.

By Juanita Fraser

Denmark my mother and grandmothers home land

I have only been to Denmark twice in my life. We stayed in Copenhagen I was there Once when I was five and then again in June of 1995.

I went to see some of my family in Denmark. I will never forget my trip. My grandmother had bought me a ticket for my birthday. We went there for six weeks. It is a wonderful place.

A lot of the town and cities are well over 100 years old. Most of the streets you can only fit one car down. A lot of people do not drive cars unless they are going out of town. Their main transportation is bikes.

I went and saw my third and fourth cousins. They showed me all around Denmark. I saw the old churches, and a castle, and went to Tivoli. My third cousin Brian and his wife Bridget, took me to a beach house that they had rented for 4 days. There daughter Hanna my forth cousin showed me the night life in Copenhagen. She also introduced me to a few of her friends and her boyfriend Mike. My cousin Brian asked me to stay in Denmark. He said he would help me fine a place and get a job if I stayed. I thanked him and said my parents are in Canada. I would miss my family too much if I stayed in Denmark.

What I did not know is that the reason my grandmother had brought me to Denmark was to meet a husband, and meet my family. She was trying to get me away from my boyfriend in Canada because, he was abusing me. She had told her cousins' her plan and they were trying to help her.

Five months after I returned to Canada I left my boyfriend and went into a shelter. In 1999 I got married to a wonderful man who would not hurt a fly. I still talk to my family in Denmark and I never told them that I knew what they were up to. They do however know that I have a wonderful husband who treats me like a queen. I even told them that we would like to start our own worm farm. Brian asked if everything works out that we should call him, he might be able to help us out with our business. He has his own cobble stone business, so he knows how businesses work. I hope to bring my husband and daughter to Denmark some day. That is my dream.

How Close The Movies Are To Real Life

The other night I was watching a few movies about the environment. Both movies were about climate change and what would happen.

The writer of these movies were very good at what they did. I know that the movies are just made up, but when you think about it could happen in real life.

The first movie I saw was call "The Day After Tomorrow." It was about the artic melting and how it effected the weather around the world.

These movies are not meant to be horrors, but if you sit down and think about it. It can really be scary.

The Other movie I saw was about the Ozone and how it is breaking down. In the movie it talks about a hole in the Ozone and what it is doing to the environment. That also made me think. The second movie was called Countdown The Sky's On Fire. These movies are not new releases.

We hear every day how the artic is melting the Ozone is thinning. How we have to be careful in the sun. Sometimes I wonder how close are these movies to what is happening in our world. I know that weather is changing every where and I'm not sure we can stop it. We might be able to slow down the effects. And maybe some day reverse it, but for now all we can do is our best to help the environment. Only time will tell.

I hope that my daughter and her children one day will have a future. We must do our best for our children.

By Juanita Fraser

Struggles in life

My husband and myself have struggled for more years then we can count. At one time my husband had a very good life until his step father went bankrupt. They lost everything almost. Then when he was on his own he worked very hard for every cent he got. He made himself a pretty good life. Then he got sick and could not work those long hours. So he was struggling to keep his head above water. He also ended up with bankrupt.

Myself I have always struggled and so have my parents and grandparents. I have tried everything to get out of struggling but I just can't.

I have written books and people who have seen them, tell me how good of a writer I am. But it is not easy getting published unless you wish to pay. I did how ever have one of my stories put into a book called Today Is A Story. The only problem is that you only get paid twice a year. That is only if the book sells. What I would really like to do is get my unicorn book published, but every one I talk to says that unicorns are not in right now. Never give up your dreams they tell me.

I'm tired and frustrated. I just wish things would turn around for us. My husband is on disability and I stay at home so I can take care of our daughter. Everyday we struggle to keep a roof over our head. I have a degree as an animal tech. I had to give it up. I have allergies to a lot of animals and I could not handle putting an animal to sleep.

When I worked as a Tec I was expected to kill mice and baby mice to feed the lizards. I just could not do it. Another thing is some people come into the vets and tell you they want a perfectly health animals put to sleep, because the animal doesn't go with their decors.

I was told if someone asked me to do that I would have to. The reason being is if you do not do it the people may find another way to destroy the animal and it would most likely be inhumane. There are so many struggles we go through every day. And at times you feel like just giving up. You don't give you just keep struggling. That is what makes us who we are.

By Juanita Fraser